Reflection #2 – Someone You Love

Small Acts of KindnessDoing something kind for someone you love may be the most conventional theme we’ll have. I like to offer it in the second week as an opportunity to relax a little after what may have surprised people the first week, completing a kind act for oneself. If we’re having a hard time doing kind things for those closest to us, we may need more than an online kindness class, you know?

Having said that, I also know that it is sometimes very hard to do something additionally kind for those we love and for several reasons. We may already be doing kind things for those closest to us so finding an additional thing is a challenge, we may take for granted some of the kind things we do, we may actually not want to do anything additional (we might love them but perhaps don’t like them much in a given moment, day or week), and we may think an additional act needs to be something big.

I try to stress in my classes that the small acts of kindness are often the most significant. Small acts for those we love require paying careful attention. Timing can really add to these acts, too. As we move forward, keep looking for those small acts of kindness you can do for those people you love. These definitely come back as kind acts to yourself. They make you feel good and they help build stronger relationships with those closest to you. The stronger these relationships are, the stronger you become and the more positive impact you carry in the world.

Before going, I want to encourage you to re-interpret any theme in a way that makes it more meaningful to you. When you do this, though, it’s important that you be honest with yourself about your motivation. Are you really re-interpreting it to get more from it, or are you just taking the easy way out, perhaps not wanting to take on something more challenging.

1 Comment

  1. Your reflection today is most meaninful to me. It indeed has taken not only a threat to my husband’s health (the possibility of Alzheimer’s) but also taking about ten Practicing Kindness classes with you to change my daily behavior with him. One of the first things I had to do was to LISTEN, to be more attentive when he was telling me things. His style is to speak to me about things which interest him as if he is a teacher, giving me instruction. If I am busy, I must stop what I am doing to listen. I have learned that I must accept that he has a need to share things that are important to him and that I am the only one he is around all the time to share them with. We are both retired. Accepting that made it easier to listen.

    I know that taking these classes has helped me tremendously not to be in a constant mode of annoyance with him. For that I will be eternally grateful. Your point is well taken – it is harder to find small acts of kindness to do for our partners. I have done two things this year that are new – I go out to eat almost daily with him now, but I do so willingly and with the expectation of having a good time because he is happy and enjoys that experience. Also the second thing that has changed in our relationship, particularly over the last two years is the level of “cuddling.” Our best times have been sleeping together – there is more intimacy with our arms wrapped around each other or our bodies providing warmth as we “spoon.”

    I want to make it clear that I am not speaking of a sexual experience. This is a loving, giving experience. Because I am a restless sleeper and he does not talk much at bedtime, it has been a time of closeness, comfort,and support which makes us both happy. When I am tossing and turning at night, I find his warm back and wrap myself around him. When he is cold, he moves into my side, holds my hand and we fall asleep together in peace and loving!

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